I grew up in a home of a full-time working mom and I always admired her hard work and all that she handled with ease, or so it seemed. I always went to daycare (probably the best one ever, with people who will always be important to me) and had way too much fun. I had a dad who would stay home with us and who would make dinner and clean the house. It's just what worked out for my family and I wouldn't change that for anything.
However, being a working mom is also not for everyone. And that is ok, too. For as long as I can remember, all I've wanted to do is be a mom. People would ask me in college what I wanted to do when I graduated, and my best response was that I wanted to be a mom. Everything else would be extra.
Really, this post is for those of you with that type of heart. Maybe you're a mom right now who is staying home with your kiddos. Maybe you're a working mom who would love to be able to stay at home. Or maybe you're dreaming of someday becoming a mom and wonder if staying home someday is what you want to do.
So let me make my case, and maybe give some high-fives and encouragement to those type of moms out there..
Before I state my case, I do have to admit that staying at home to do this mom thing wasn't always comfortable and for sure wasn't something I was necessarily proud of - until recently.
Staying at home means that you don't ever really get a break. You're always 'on'. You're always needed in some way. Your day starts early and it ends late - sometimes way late into the night. You get to deal with all of the moodiness, crying fits, sick kids, etc. It's not always fun and every day is a new challenge. For a long time a big part of me felt like it was a burden and I wasn't able to socialize or be out in the world as much as I wanted to. But something shifted in me after my miscarriage that told me that being a mom is the biggest blessing you will ever be given. Losing a gift like a child is one of the most, if not the most, challenging things we can go through. And it was then that I realized how important of a job I really have, and what a blessing my girl (and future children) truly is.
It seems these days that stay-at-home-mom-ing isn't the popular thing to do. Daycare centers are packed full; starting up your own daycare gig is a great way to earn a living with so many kids who need it. That's an awesome thing to be able to do if you have a heart for it!
I honestly know just a handful of people, and one very close friend, who are stay at home moms. And even when I decided to quit my job I got a lot of questions of "how will you stay in the game of business?" or "how will you make enough money?" or whatever other "why are you doing that?" type of thoughts and concerns, which all are good questions to consider...
But here it is. All of my "why's" and all of the blessings I've been able to reap as a stay at home mom:
I get to be part of every moment of my children's life! Whether you see that as a good thing or a bad thing (and believe me there are good times and bad times!) it's a privilege to watch my daughter grow up and to experience everything with her for the first time. There are definitely no regrets that I have about spending almost every waking moment of her life with her.
I get to teach her what I want her to learn! As a parent, it's really our job to create and form our children to be the type of adults we want them to be. And it starts the moment they're born. Every day I get to show my girl how to act, how to love, how to be healthy, how to be out in this world and how to love others. I take this part of parenting quite seriously and I love that I get to be the one to teach her these values early on.
I get to do fun things with my girl! Just today we went to the library and both had such a fun time. Story time, playing with other kids, reading and learning together. There's plenty of those sort of things at daycare, but I'm happy I can bring Leslie to different places where she can experience different things whenever we want. Though, most of the places we go are free, we can still get out and do new things together.
I have the time to focus on my own health. This is of course the biggie for me. To be able to prepare healthy food for myself and my family is everything to me. Having more time at home to do this sort of thing is the most value I can find staying home. Plus, during nap time I can either take a nap or I can workout or I can prep dinner - whatever I can do to put mine and my family's health first.
Not having to rush out the door is a huge stress-reliever for everyone! My husband has to work, of course, and he has a bit of a crazy schedule of his own. So the fact that I can manage the house and our family is a huge relief for him and for me. Not to have to coordinate who brings the kid to daycare or who picks them up or who will be home for bedtime, or whatever else is going on, makes life simpler. And I thrive on keeping life simple.
My kids have consistency. Which, any kid can have consistency if you make it a priority. To have your caregiver on the same page as you, and to keep your evening life consistent for your kids is all that needs to be done. But I guess I am able to have control over this the way that I want to. My sleep tactics, my discipline, my rules and expectations, and it's the same all day long.
I get to do more of what I want to do. At least, sometimes. We don't all love our jobs, I really quite hated my job when I was working (which made that decision an easy one). And if I was still working I'd be doing something that I didn't like, plus have to be a good mom and a wife and a friend, which would leave little time for doing certain things that I want to do. Whereas now, I am able to help more with church, and even start up my own business if I want to! I'm able to have a little bit of extra time for working out or reading or spending time with my husband - or blogging! - and it doesn't have to be rushed.
I am able to save our family money by staying home. It's not just daycare costs, it's also the cost of clothes, food, gas, car maintenance, and more. I've started to have more of a hand in managing our money and I've found a lot of joy in it! I'm a saver, for sure, so anywhere I can find a way to save money I'm all about it. And in doing so - back to preparing healthy food - using more real food ingredients, because I have more time, makes healthy eating a lot cheaper when I don't have to depend on much of any prepared foods. That alone is a huge money-saver! So just because you're working doesn't mean that you have more money. In fact, it may mean that you're spending your hard-earned money on things that you don't really want to, when also sacrificing time with your family.
These reasons, and more, I just felt like I needed to share - NOT to shame any mom who is working to provide for their family, but to really explain that if you can, and if you really have this desire to stay home, it is way more than worth it!
The first three years of a child's life sets up their foundation. These are years of huge developmental milestones of language, social, behavioral, and emotional development. I know that I'll never be mad about spending these years with my kids, sacrificing my time and energy for their benefit. It may seem like an old-fashioned thing to do these days, but I can't imagine my family functioning in any other way right now.
Plus, I can't really imagine a life not being able to hang with this girl all day...
Who is now awake from her nap and I need to end this rant here. Until next time.
