I'm definitely writing this a lot sooner than I had planned, but here it goes...
Friday, September 26th, around 7 am: I woke up to a sense that I needed to use the bathroom, but that I had already missed my chance and I was soaked. I rushed to the bathroom only to find the water still flowing! At this point I'm very confused and shocked at what is going on, as I still had 5 weeks left of pregnancy - plus, 2 baby showers I needed to go to that weekend! Plus, I hadn't even gone over my birth plan with my doctor, which I hadn't printed off my computer yet. I was not ready for this.
With my husband sound asleep, I try to whistle for him from the bathroom but he didn't respond. I waddle back to our bedroom, towel in between myself, and I wake him up with, "I think my water just broke!" Dazed, confused and groggy, he wakes up and asks, "Where?!" I wasn't sure exactly how to answer that question.
I called the doctor while the hubbs scrambled to pack us a couple bags to bring to the hospital. We ate some breakfast together, and at this point I was pretty calm - no contractions in sight.
On our way out the door I mention, still in disbelief, "I bet the doctor will send us home, I'm not in labor yet." Famous last words, right?
We get to the hospital, I'm put in their triage room where they test to make sure my water did actually break. Sure enough I was telling them the truth. Still hardly contracting, and dilated at 3 cm, I'm sent to the delivery room where things started to pick up a bit more. They attached a couple monitors to my belly - so annoying - and left me to labor with my amazing husband's support.
I need to take a pause and just try to explain our experience during my labor as a married couple. Preparing for labor early on during pregnancy I definitely thought I was going to be a lot more irritated, irritable and cranky. It was quite the opposite, which I am thankful for (hopefully he was just as thankful for that)! I needed to rely on my husband through each contraction, soaking up his encouraging words. He probably didn't feel like he did much during that time, but if he wasn't there I don't think things would have gone as well as they did. His support and love had never been shown or as well received in this way in our nine years together. During all the cramping and discomfort, I had strength because my best friend was with me the entire time. He is one heck of a man - and now one heck of a daddy! Really, he's infatuated with this tiny girl.
So to you husbands who plan on having kids, be there for your wife! She needs you more than you know. This is a special time between the two of you, so take advantage and be the man she needs you to be.
Back to the story...
So far, the contractions, which felt like period cramps, were stronger and more intense. I didn't get much of a break from them after a while and had to throw up a couple times because they were so intense. Then, like a flip of a switch, I felt completely different. I began shaking and panicked a little, wondering what was happening to me. I told the hubbs to call the nurse to come in. The nurse came and I told her that I needed to push. She looked at me like I was joking, as it had only been a couple hours since I had arrived. She asked me to lie on my back in the bed, which seemed like an impossible task, and she checked to see how much I was dilated. Her eyes widened with surprise and said to me, "Yep! You're ready!" I felt excited and nervous to start pushing. Pushing was exactly like they say, like trying to get out a big poop (pardon my language). I felt like my whole bottom was going to come off with each push. It was a test of my endurance and of my strength. I'm glad I passed that test. It helped that everyone was cheering me on and telling me they could see her head coming! The end was so close! With my last push I felt her head come out, and in my husband's words, the rest of her just shot out! I felt a huge relief from every pain that I had been feeling. It was all over.
My only major medical intervention was having an episiotomy. Other than that there wasn't a whole lot of time to think about other drugs or epidurals. But that was my goal, and I do feel a huge sense of accomplishment that things went according to my plan, especially since my doctor was clueless on what my plans actually were. With that said, I can totally understand wanting pain relief, so I can't judge others' decisions. Labor and delivery is different for everyone and you won't really know what it will be like until you experience it for yourself. BUT, just know for you ladies who may be nervous about giving birth some day, that God made you to be able to do this! The pain you feel doesn't hurt you, it's there for a purpose. With the right support and keeping as relaxed as you can, I truly believe a natural birth is possible for the majority of women. You can do it!
My miracle decided to surprise us 5 weeks early. Born at 12:35 pm, weighing 4 lb. 14 oz. she's perfect and she's given her mommy and daddy a huge purpose in life. We can't imagine life without her.
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| Leslie Vivian Davison |
Since she was early, we had to extend our hospital stay to a full week. It was mentally exhausting for me. Not only did I have to learn how to care for a newborn, but I had to see my tiny girl get poked and tested every day. She was in the special care nursery for part of it, so I was separated from her right away, having to take visits to go see her as often as I could - that really sucked. Later, I got to share a room with her, and probably drove the nurses crazy because I'd page them in concern with every noise she'd make at first. [Newborns are noisy! I've adjusted to her moans and groans now]
I had such great, supportive nurses (most of them, anyway) who taught me so much. I got the 101 on breastfeeding, pumping, diaper changing, burping, bathing, etc. It was so nice to have some guidance in those early days. I really don't know what I would have done if I were to have just brought her home right away. A week after Leslie was born we got the clear to go home! She's so easy going and perfect. I can't get enough.
So there you have it! Getting through the cramping, the dilating, the pushing, the aftermath of birth and finally being able to be home with our baby was all such a marathon. Through it all, that phrase my mom has said so many times, 'this too shall pass', stuck in my head reminding me that our struggles and challenges are here for only a time. I can say that my faith and trust in God since I first learned I was pregnant has grown dramatically. Challenges of the unknown has a way of doing that to us.
And now I look at my tiny girl, who is lying on the couch besides me as I type this, knowing she'll only be this size for a short amount of time - this too shall pass. When she starts cooing and laughing, crawling and walking - with all of those precious moments, this, too shall pass. My aim is to be the best mommy that I can be and to soak up every moment of this girl's life. Because I know it goes too fast.
